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Expected Norms For the Period
Sleeping Time - The baby will now sleep through the night. If
waking does occur. It is best not to pick the child up but rock the
crib and speak soothingly. The music that was learned will be
beneficial. If the wakefulness persists, picking the child up and
holding close is needed. Illness may be the cause.
Feedings - Learning to self-feed is the program during this period.
Have a good spoon with the handle wrapped to make it thicker. The
feeding bowl should have elevated sides to facilitate the spooning.
Hold the child’s hand and lead it into the food for small amounts.
Use praise at every success It is important not to notice mistakes or
you may introduce the game of dropping.The teaching principle is
praise the successes and ignore the failures.Drinking from the cup is
learned in a similar manner. Help is provided and gradually removed
as learning takes place. As the child masters the process of
self-feeding weaning should take place. No more bottle and no more
breast. Bring the child the cup with the urge:”Be like mommy.”
When the child does like Mommy praise and affection is very
important, for this a difficult transition to make. Be sure to bring the
cup at bedtime and at naptime. Giving in slows down the weaning
process. The pacifier is also not recommended because it will
develop habits which are hard to break such as thumb sucking.
Mommy is urged to work hard in this self-feeding and weaning
process. It should be accomplished by the end of the first year. All
children develop a stubborn streak at around two.
The child fixates the face of the parent with a concentrated looking. Next will be
head turning and gurgling. At around three months comes a distinct
response called the smile. It is important that the parent coo and talk
whenever holding the baby even before the smile. The smile invites
interaction from Daddy, Grandparents, friends, and even older
siblings. The baby is now a real person.
Exploration Behavior- During this period the child is crawling
about and using his hands with facility. Energy abounds and interest
in exploring the environment increases. This presents a problem for
parents to protect the child from dangerous objects. Since the child
needs to explore and utilize the abundant muscular skills, the parent
should provide daily opportunities with guidance at hand. It is not
necessary to strip the house of breakable objects. Chasing and
grabbing the child will become a game. Let the child hurt himself
and begin to cry. Condition the words “hurt baby” to this
experience.When there is an approach to other dangerous situations
the parent will simply need to use the learned signal. Don’t give up
for it takes longer for children to learn this signal. It is important for
the parent to be free of responsibility during exploration time. It is
strongly suggested that the phone be taken off the hook during this
period. In order to answer the phone you will have to get the child
and put him in the playpen. After doing this several times the child
learned at the sound of the phone to crawl away as rapidly as
possible. This can turn into a real chase game.
Confinement- There are times when the child must be confined in a
playpen. Objects and toys need to be provided for the exploration
tendency. There are special toys that unscrew and come apart. Large
objects should be the rule for the child often explores with the
mouth. The parent should be aware of the danger to swallow and get
choked. Pots and pans with their tops are good examples. They also
make a noise. In order to keep the child happy the parent should
come over and interact while the child is playing. If the child cries
or shakes the side of the pen to get out, the parent should not reward
this effort. Bring over a new object to increase interest or play
yourself with some of the objects.Remove the child when he is
happy. He will learn to know that he will not be confined forever.
Separation Anxiety- During this period the child forms a special
relationship with the mother called the Attachment Bond. The
attachment bond normally arrives with crawling. The child does not
want the mother to get out sight. This is a real advantage for the
parent. The child is not likely to wander far. The difficult feature of
this bond prevents the mother from leaving the child with some one
else. There will be an unhappy look followed by serious crying. In
order to condition the child the first experience should be with a
familiar person.. This could be the father, a babysitter or a grandpar-
ent. The child should not be left with an unfamliar person if the
parent must go out at bedtime. If the child wakes up in this situation
the child will panic and develop some serious stress disorders. Also
there is a way to teach the child that mother is not gone forever. Step
one is to leave the child with a familiar person. If the child cries and
vehemently protests condition the words “Mommy Be Back” and
go ahead and depart even while the protest is in progress. The first
time should be very short before Mommy returns. There should be
a hugging ceremony. This experience should be repeated a number
of times so that “Be Back” has real meaning. For longer separations
plan a vigorous play experience with the child immediately to take
away the pain.
When the child is to be left with a sitter arrange for coming ahead
of time while play takes place with the mother present. Leaving at
Day Care or a church nursery should be handled in a similar fashion.
The mother should remain present while the child learns the care
person and the surroundings. The first leaving should be reasonably
short and the Be Back quick. The time can be extended the second
leaving.
Day Care Experiences- After the child recovers from Mommy’s Be
Back experiences the child can be left for longer periods of time.
Most churches provide a one day Mom’s Day Off usually for about
two hours. The Day Care experience enlarges the environment with
a variety of toys and play objects. Peer experiences are made
possible for promoting both friendship and conflict but this is the
real world. Try to choose a Day Care providing one adult to every
three children. Look for the extent of the equipment and the variety
of play objects
Parents should realize that Day Care provides both pleasures and
stresses. There will always be some degree of Separation Anxiety.
Some days will be better than others. A parental playtime is always
in order after Day Care to provide a one to one opportunity.
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